“The risk it took to blossom”

Thank you from my heart to Misty Mawn. Her angel of inspiration has come my way. Anaïs Nin: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”

I’m bumbling through a painful transition these days. I’ve been laying in bed all week with the first bad cold in a few years, and thinking. My sweet son is growing up and away so fast….he got his license and a girlfriend in the same week. The center of my life has grown wings and is mostly out flying these days. Its all been so sudden and my heart has been aching. I’m nostalgic for his younger self, and want to go way, way back to the beginning– where I could smell his sweet hair and just hold him in my arms. Instead, I’ve been moody and listening to soulful music and painting.

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Things to Do in the Belly of the Whale
by Dan Albergotti

Measure the walls. Count the ribs. Notch the long days.
Look up for blue sky through the spout. Make small fires
with the broken hulls of fishing boats. Practice smoke signals.
Call old friends, and listen for echoes of distant voices.
Organize your calendar. Dream of the beach. Look each way
for the dim glow of light. Work on your reports. Review
each of your life’s ten million choices. Endure moments
of self-loathing. Find the evidence of those before you.
Destroy it. Try to be very quiet, and listen for the sound
of gears and moving water. Listen for the sound of your heart.
Be thankful that you are here, swallowed with all hope,
where you can rest and wait. Be nostalgic. Think of all
the things you did and could have done. Remember
treading water in the center of the still night sea, your toes
pointing again and again down, down into the black depths.

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5 thoughts on ““The risk it took to blossom”

  1. That commentary and poem were perfect. I expected something earth shattering to happen when my “nest” was empty. But little changed; it’s a bit different but everything we put into that child is still there. ❤

  2. MMmmm I know that feeling 😉 I had two sons to contend with that ‘what do i do now’ in the silence. Had I taken the steps then to explore all that I love about art now well, I suppose it wouldn’t be the same as what I have now, sharing that with my sons, reminiscing…and sharing it all with my grandchildren.

    I smiled reading about your son getting his license and a girlfriend in the same week – if my oldest had gotten a girlfriend and his license in the same week well, I don’t suppose the lesson would be the same as having gotten his first ticket…for speeding.

    I think the moral of the story for me is – some things are better late than never while some are meant to be…even if he disagreed. 😉

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